HOW TO PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A LIFETIME RELATIONSHIP

First, let us look at what happens after a long term relationship is over? How difficult is it to see the wood for the trees when you are in the middle of a crisis? I'm sure most of us have experienced a relationship situation which proved to be unpleasant, whether it is not having the woman that you desire, or having the woman that you don't desire and wanting to end it. Whether it is coming to terms with an unfaithful partner, or summoning the courage to be unfaithful yourself, things have not worked out the way you had hoped. You may also face the tragic loss of a loved one or the sudden appearance of an unexpected pregnancy. You remember how good things were before this problem arose.
Compare one of my own vivid personal memory of a relationship break up to your own experience. I had a feeling of impending doom, of loneliness, regret, resentment, sadness, jealousy and anger. These and other emotions all combined together and make you feel quite morose. Everything becomes an effort. You even begin to identify with songs of love and heartache. You notice phrases and words in songs, poetry and books, which suddenly mean something to you. Worst of all, you truly feel that you are the only one in the whole wide world who is experiencing such feelings of loneliness. I can clearly remember myself listening to patients complain about their unhappy relationship situation. I felt like saying to them, 'You think you've got it bad. My problems are far worse than yours.'
In Australia, one third of all first-time marriages end up in divorce. Of those relationships in which one partner has been married once before, the risk of divorce is more than 50 per cent. Of those that try marriage a third and fourth time, more than 75 per cent of these marriages end in divorce. According to these figures, the odds are not that great that your marriage will survive. What's more, these figures do not include those relationships that end in separation and de facto relationships that do not succeed.
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