HEALTHY FAMILY REACTIONS TO ILLNESS: LONG-RANGE ADJUSTMENT

All does not remain tense and chaotic for healthy couples, regardless of the stresses being faced. After returning home and getting through the initial months of recovery from the hospital experience, healthy couples actually restore intimacy within their relationship, and order in their family operations, rather quickly. Of course, they continue to struggle with the stresses of rehabilitation, but they begin to do so with a renewed sense of teamwork. How quickly the family heals is directly related to two factors: (1) the stress level of the couple at the time the illness strikes and (2) the amount of change the illness generates within the family.
This makes common sense; a family that is already fatigued by stresses such as financial or relationship problems will have more difficulty adjusting to the struggles of coping with illness. And any family that is turned upside down by the additional stresses that sometimes come in the wake of illness—such as increased financial pressures or having to relocate to be closer to helpful family members—will have additional hurdles to scale in the rehabilitation process. For such families, reaching a state of relative calm will take longer.
Regardless of how long it takes to develop healthy adjustment, certain marital and family factors signal that healthy adjustment has been achieved:

• Flexibly adjusting family roles and rules.
• Allowing each other to react honestly.
• Seeking accurate information about rehabilitation.
• Setting clear and realistic goals.
• Coming to peace with oneself and others.